Friday, April 7, 2017

Quick & Dirty RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Predictions

So you're probably sitting here like "Really, queen? We're 2 episodes in and now you're making predictions?" And yes, I am. Because I wanted to see these queens actually in action on the season before trying to figure out how they'd be. And let's be honest, that first episode told us almost nothing about this new set of queens. And also because I'm a mess and might not have thought about doing this until too late. But let's just forget that and move on. 

I'm going to be giving my prediction for the elimination order of the season 9 queens based on where I think they're going to place. I might have some bias toward the queens that I personally prefer, but I'm going to try to pool my knowledge, opinion, and Drag Race Herstory in an attempt to get as close to an accurate prediction as I can get. For each queen, I'll give a little blurb explaining my reasoning.

Without any further ado, here's my predicted elimination order for Season 9 of RuPaul's Drag Race... excluding Jaymes, because that would be cheating. 

13) Kimora Blac

This might be the "obvious" choice for last place, but I really couldn't bring myself to choose anyone else as the most likely to be eliminated next. I don't know how many seasons in a row we've seen the storyline of someone weak winning the first lip sync and getting eliminated the next episode. Some people think that she's going to get a villain storyline, but I just think that she's going to be a bit of an airhead and get promptly eliminated. I'd be shocked if she lasts past episode 5. 

12) Charlie Hides

I like Charlie, and I think that she's interesting. That being said, I think that this is just a really stacked cast and think that she won't last super long. So far, she hasn't been outright bad, but she has gotten some sort of negative criticism on both of the challenges. Regardless if this is her actual placing, I don't see her making it past the halfway point.

11) Farrah Moan

Once again, I really like Farrah. She was one of the standouts to me when I was first perusing the cast. But like I said, this cast is really stacked. And she's super pretty and fishy, but we have such a strong cast, so I don't think that being pretty and fishy is going to be enough. So far, she hasn't stood out from the pack very much, so I think that she's going to be out early. 

10) Aja

Speaking of initial standouts, Aja was immediately the first one who drew my eye when looking at the cast. I personally really like her aesthetic and I like her personality. That being said, her makeup skills keep getting clocked, she's not getting a ton of screentime, and she seems to be a bit one-note. I'll be thrilled if she goes further, but I think that there are too many strong queens on this season for her to get far.  

9) Alexis Michelle

Broken record here, but I also like Alexis. I think that she's very polished and confident and seems to be a talented performer. But despite the fact that she's one of the ones that I like the most, I consistently forget that she's there. I don't know why I find her so completely forgettable, but that cannot be a good thing for her going forward. Plus, she seems like she could be one of the queens that bores the judges quickly by serving similar things every week on the runway. Maybe she'll start standing out more, but for right now, I think she's going to fall somewhere in this area. 

8) Trinity Taylor

I think I might have Trinity a bit high here. I don't know. But this is where I've put her and I think this is where I'm going to leave her. She seems to be a very polished pageant queen, and I think that will get her a good deal into the competition. However, I simply think that she can't compete with some of the other people who are going to be appearing later on this list. This isn't incredibly important, but there are a few queens who were added/friended on Facebook by a WOW Presents producer. She's one of them. So that's an indication to me that she made a pretty big impact and therefore lasted a while. 

7) Cynthia Lee Fontaine

OK, here's the deal. I like Cynthia. But I don't think she's going to get this far due solely to merit. She's a returning queen. She's not going to be sent home early. She's going to last until around this point, and that's about the time that RuPaul will think that she's gotten her redemption arc and will send her home. In all honesty, I think that some of the queens I've already listed are stronger than Cynthia. But I also think that there's no way that she goes home early. 

6) Valentina

If you'd asked me at the beginning of the season if Valentina would do well this season, I'd say absolutely not. But after seeing her performance and seeing how much her personality shines on screen, I think that she's going to go pretty far. I don't think that she can win, but I can definitely see her getting that "young gun" story arc and making it deep into the show. 

5) Eureka O'Hara

Eureka is one of the people who's most visible on the edit. She's constantly getting confessionals, giving reads, and making jokes. The show is setting her up as someone to become familiar with and watch for. She's given a pretty strong showing so far, and I definitely think she's going to make a deep run. That being said, I think that the remaining queens are going to do a bit better than her. 

4) Peppermint

Peppermint is a seasoned, polished queen. I think that her looks certainly aren't the strongest, but queens like Bianca Del Rio have done exceedingly well despite giving pretty similar, mediocre runway looks. That being said, it's definitely some sort of downside. But, she's another queen who's getting a ton of confessionals. We've already gotten an emotional story from her, and she's an early favorite for Miss Congeniality. I'm pretty certain she's going to make a deep run and I could definitely see her being one of the queens who just barely misses out on the finale. She's also one of the queens who was friended on Facebook by a WOW Presents producer, which I think just solidifies that she's going to go deep.

3) Shea Coulee

Shea was the queen that everyone was talking about at the beginning of the season, thinking that she's going to win. So far, she seems to be doing pretty well and she seems to be a strong competitor, so I think that she's going to go far. I'm not going to outright make her my winner pick, but I could easily see her making the finale at this point. She's been very present already, so I think that she's a strong contender. I could definitely see her going a bit earlier than this because maybe we're all over-valuing Shea. But from what I've seen, I think she's headed to the finale.

2) Sasha Velour

Part of this might be my personal bias-- I love Sasha. That being said, she's one of the queens who seems to have an incredibly strong aesthetic and a lot of the fans have been very impressed by her. She performed strongly in the first episode, but I feel like she has been in the background just a little bit. So I'm going against what I've said about the past couple queens. That being said, she is also one of the queens who was added by a WOW Producer, which indicates to me that even if she doesn't make it as far as I think she will, she must make some sort of big impact. I'm hopeful that she makes it all the way to the finale.

1) Nina Bo'nina Brown

Sure, we're only 2 episodes in, but everything seems to be going Nina's way. She won the pageant in episode 1. She's been extremely present in the edit. She was one of the queens added by a WOW Producer on Facebook. She's already gotten a long-term sob story that we're probably going to follow throughout most of the season. Maybe it's a misdirect and she's not going to last that long, but she just seems to be doing so well and getting a really great edit. I'd be surprised if we got down to that all-important final 5 and Nina wasn't there. 

So those are my quick predictions for the elimination order of the queens on season 9 of RuPaul's Drag Race. Let me know down in the comments what you think about my elimination order, as well as who you think is going to take the crown home. 

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